Not a lot of updates, you guys...

... I'll get to it.

Goodbye, Take Care, My Heart is Already Empty

This is how I'll always remember you.

Video of the Year

A list of albums that sound more like the suburbs than The Suburbs

1. the Hold Steady, Boys and Girls in America
2. Fucked Up, David Comes to Life
3. Less than Jake, Hello Rockview! (though this is somewhat cheating, as it applies to anyone with a hometown I'm guessing)
4. Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American
5. Wormrot, Dirge
6. Spoon, Kill the Moonlight
7. Black Dahlia Murder, Miasma
8. Elvis Costello & the Attractions, Armed Forces
9. 10cc, The Original Soundtrack

What's missing?

Mug vs. Super Glass: A scientific test.

The classy gent Bull E. Vard at KC Beer Blog posted about this article, which examines the history of what people drink beer out of. Mentioned in the article was the Sam Adams Perfect Pint, and Bull offered a couple up as a prize if you posted on his Facebook page with a picture of your favorite beer glass.

I tossed Mug up, and was rewarded with one of those Super Glasses.

Which means I had to find out: how much of this glassware is bullshit, and how much is nerdy douchebaggery.

So here you go, the results of my very scientific taste testing.

CONTROL: Water

You'll likely believe this, but I failed to notice a difference in the taste of water between sexy Mug and fancy Super Glass. I guess I should say, I failed to notice taste. It's water. I'm not a fan of water in general, probably because it reminds me of working out. By the end of this I was thankful I was not working out.

Winner: No one. Here's to the control.

WHY THE FUCK NOT: Orange Juice

I think everyone will agree that every restaurant known for breakfast will fuck you right out of your money to give you a shitty amount of OJ. I'm pretty notorious for drinking a lot, though, so maybe my perception is a bit off. The mug held quite a bit of OJ, and it was likely that rage I have for breakfast joints that made the Perfect Pint taste a bit worse. I can't give you any information about smells or if either glass made the acidity hit harsher or softer, or if one was smoother than the other. I just know that the glass least like a breakfast joint was my sweet Mug.

Winner: Mug

OTHER THINGS: Chocolate Milk

I fully planned on doing this, but we ran out of chocolate milk. I love chocolate milk. Another day...

Beer

Green Flash's Hop Head Red IPA

(Pictured above!) I did this beer first because I've never had it. I know it just started getting to KC recently, so it seemed like the right thing to do. So I pour it in the Super Glass, and the nose of it (can you say that when you're drinking beer?) was very sweet. Not a lot of head on it, and it had that just-syrupy enough fruit scent that good IPAs have, that not-quite-a-double aroma that I love. The taste was excellent, and very active with hops/rye/what have you. I looked this up online later and saw a lot of people who all say said "well, they claim it's an IPA" like it was some sort of issue, but I full on support the IPAness of it. Probably because I'm a huge Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye fan.

For Mug, it had a whole lot of head going on. The sweetness was more faint than in Super Glass, and the bitterness of it was a little more on the overwhelming side. Being that it doesn't have the tapered opening like Super Glass, drinking it pretty much poured that head straight into my mouth before the beer could slip through. This was a good sample to give Super Glass a shot.

Winner: Super Glass

Lagunitas's GnarlyWine

So here we go: high alcohol, quick-settling head, enjoyable to sip with an ABV that suggests you sip (provided you're not in a bad mood). The beer gets out of Mug without too much head interference, and the head is consistency-wise thick and smooth enough that I actually like the way it tastes. There's a lot of habit, a building tradition even, in there that makes me weigh favor towards Mug, but Super Glass impressed me with the last beer, so fuck it, right?

Well, Super Glass had more going against it than I thought. See, there was a comment not too long ago by a KC beer nerd or three about how some beer companies have a certain "taint" that runs through them that essentially ruins all beers from that brewery for them. Lagunitas has the same thing for me, except it's something in all of them that I really like, but makes all of them taste a bit similar. The most different beer I've had of theirs was the Imperial Stout, but I could even pick up a little of whatever it is that makes them familiar. So Super Glass, for me, had to make Gnarly Wine (my favorite of what they offer) taste even more different. And it really didn't. It was still strong, the nose still had that Lagunitas smell to it, and I was happy to drink it. But especially with this beer, I love my Mug.

Winner: Mug

Tallgrass's Halcyon

People think this is one of my favorite beers. It is not. It is, however, the only unfiltered wheat beer I fully support, and it opened me up to trying more. Wheat beer was, essentially, what pilsners are to me now: something I've never enjoyed, and therefore am unwilling to try any more without a real good kick in the ass. Halcyon kicked my ass.

And I'm glad it did, and during summer. Drinking it out of Super Glass brought out more of the fruitiness of its flavor, and let me admire a lot of the color and cloudiness of the beer that I never really see. It's not going to win any beauty competitions, but it is still cool to see for something that I rarely look at (unfiltered wheat beers, that is; not just Halcyon).

So when it was time for Mug, I was sad to not really get a view of it. And what was even weirder to me was that the carbonation seemed a little more intense. It was like having the soda fizzies with that big open Mug-top. But it was still good.

Winner: The Can. Halcyon needs no glassware. Why fuck up the blue-collar aesthetics of drinking beer out of ugly cans? I mean, c'mon: Homeless people drink this stuff.

In The End

So I've been watching Oz & May Drink to Britain, and something that Oz keeps saying is that to really judge a beer, you have to burp it. This is going to sound more stupid than "glasses matter" even sounds, but for whatever reason: speed of consumption, the amount of head, some bullshit "awakening of flavors," the way the glass made the liquid pour down my throat; whatever it was, drinking from the glass produced better burps each time. I know it sounds stupid, but the Super Glass burps were more flavorful, and more in general.

So you win, Super Glass. Be it over-active imagination or science, there were things I noticed in Super Glass that I didn't in Mug, and that's certainly not a bad thing. Though I'll likely utilize Mug more often than not, Super Glass is nice to have around, and I'm sure it'll get plenty of not-OJ play.

A moderate summary of the things that are important to me right now, outside of people

Beer

I don't know if it's part of the lower-middle-class mythology I try to keep alive despite being further along in life than I thought I'd be (not to say I'm where I want to be, or even doing super well, but I'd have to be a real asshole to not admit that I'm doing alright), but something about the after-work beer is keeping me grounded in reality. Weird, because by the time I hit high school, my dad was pretty much done with beer, and I don't think my mom ever enjoyed it. But I've built ritual around the drink that defined the working class I grew out of, and I can't see it fading anytime soon.

Bears

I'm still a bit confused by the fact that football season is here. I'm not even pissed off at Hester, and I should be cursing his field presence beyond special teams right about now. I should be incredibly concerned that Garza's a center and that Kruetz won't retire as a Bear. Messed up.

Grainger

I miss you, you beautiful building.

The following bands

• Beach House
• The Weeknd
• The National
• Wormrot
• Between the Buried and Me
• How to Dress Well
• Dillinger Escape Plan
• Sufjan Stevens
• Converge
• Bon Iver
• Feist
• Deerhoof
• Battles
• Joanna Newsom
• The Antlers
• After the Burial
• M83
• Bear Vs. Shark
• Hewhocorrupts
• Ahab
• Ulcerate
• Titus Andronicus
• Sigur Ros
• Dying Fetus
• GWAR
• The Mountain Goats
• Destroyer
• Tracey Thorn
• 10cc
• Al Stewart

Football season is near

I'm very excited.

One Project Done

I have very little advice for you in doing home projects, as I've only owned a home for 6 months. I do however believe in this advice:

Pay someone else to fucking do it.

It is in no way whatsoever worth doing a project with your spouse. We painted the living room. It's finally done, and it looks great. The old green was ok, but the previous homeowners (let's call them The Leibermans) did a shitty job. We didn't feel like matching it to patch up their crapwork, and it was so dark that it turned the living room into this depressing isolation chamber.

So we went with that yellow up above. In the process of painting, though, a task the wife will tell you almost led to her stabbing me multiple times, it became clear that I'm not good at it. On top of that, the extremely detailed stuff (taping, touching up where the walls met the ceiling and the fireplace) she insisted on doing herself. That was a good idea; I'd've definitely muffed that up.

So after two weeks of what we thought would be a weekend project, we've agreed to not paint any of the other rooms. We're just going to throw money at a bunch of people, and not worry about doing it ourselves. Hell, I might even watch them and laugh at the fact I'm not doing it. I fucking hate it that much.

But there've been other things that have been accomplished at the house since moving in.

• I gutted a toilet and replaced its inner workings
• We had our fence finished off so the dog doesn't have to stay on a leash in the backyard
• I redid some of the door hardware that needed fixed (or wasn't there in the first place)
• I fixed some cabinets
• I poorly trimmed a bunch of plants

You'll notice the "I"s. Solo projects are easier on the relationship. The "we"s involved paying someone else to do it. So we'll see what other things develop in the next sixth-month period of time leading up to the big one-year party.

Mobile: It's Important

Hey. You can look at this blog on your phone now without dealing with douche design!

And to think, that's the only thing I've had worth saying in a month.

Crow? I don't get you...

This is one of my favorite clips from the MST3K skits. (From Monster A-Go-Go)

Greetings from Matrimony, KS

I'm a month away from being married for three years. They've been some of the best, with the two big exceptions of being far away from most of my family and friends, and also having to do a bunch of grown-man business that generally scares the shit out of me. In the course of buying the house and the seemingly billions of things homeowners apparently need, I've pretty much ignored everything but the sanctuary of my living room/cave of isolation. To help me chill the hell out, I've started spending time on my deck (of 'why the fuck do people hang out in their driveways; we all have expensive decks in our backyards' fame).

On the front porch side, however, we've watched a family of robins nest up, be born, and just last week the children learned to fly.

That up above is the next to last baby leaving to explore. The other one took an extra two days. I can't blame him, the parents kept bringing him food.

In addition to hanging out on my deck, I've also been thinking we need a chair for the bedroom, as this is the view from my bed out towards the master bathroom:

Something has to go there, and with our bookshelves, it kind of makes sense. I dunno, I might move a lamp in there or something, too, though there are four damn light switches for this room and I generally only use one of them. I'm not sure another light source is what this room needs.

But in the living room, there's only one source of light.

Cooper, now an 80 pound lapdog instead of a 90 pound lapdog, is still the dumbest, happiest creature in existence. I'm glad he's around, because some days, I only get by on the stupid shit he does. He also keeps Stephanie laughing, which I'm a fan of, so I guess we'll keep him.

Anyway, back on track, it's been nice having a yard to hang out with Cooper in, and I'm sadly a fan of mowing now. I blame Halcyon, because as it's been pointed out, it's the official beer of yard work. But even then, I'm settling in quite nicely.

Now if someone can keep those children off my lawn...

Real Conversations

(1:12:16 PM) Barry Bailey: SR2 > GTAIV. FACT.
(1:12:21 PM) Barry Bailey: in all ways.
(1:12:41 PM) Tim McCarthy: GTAIV has a distinct lack of Johnny Gat
(1:12:59 PM) Tim McCarthy: And barely any purple
(1:13:32 PM) Barry Bailey: mainly, it's the lack of purple
(1:15:01 PM) Tim McCarthy: FACT: I just bought a purple shirt yesterday. My level of gangster dapperness increased at least 20%

I don't get it

Yes, that's a truck partially blocking my driveway. No I didn't hurt it, but I mowed right up to it and shot grass all over it.

Everyone in my neighborhood hangs out in their driveways in lawn chairs. There are a billion reasons why I don't get this, but the biggest is that, in Paris, I'd associate such behavior outside of parade-gazing as being pretty low-class. On top of that, the houses in this area have hella-expensive decks in their backyards (most yards happen to be huge, btdubs). This Johnson County behavior is further enforced by posts like this encouraging people to "hack" their garages (link sent to me by bullevard).

You know what a hacked garage looks like? The fucking BatCave. Not a kegerator and a card table.

There's probably some sort of togetherness shit where we can all get together and be up in each other's business, but if I wanted that I'd still live in an apartment community. It would be cheaper, and I wouldn't care when people were on lawns because they wouldn't be mine.

True story: I once caught a dude pissing in some bushes near the corner of the apartment building I was living in. That shit wouldn't fly in my yard, unless it was me after a bottle of Double Jack. But anyway...

I guess I don't get it. I'm kinda glad I don't.

Attention All Neighborhood Children and Irresponsible Parents

30 Day Music Challenge

There was another 30 day challenge I stumbled across, and instead of trying to make them all happen in random places, I'm just gonna do them all now and not lose any sleep over it.

day 01 - your favorite song: "Buffalo Stance" by Neneh Cherry
day 02 - your least favorite song: "Hotel California" or "I Kissed a Girl" by the Eagles & Katy Perry, (dis)respectively
day 03 - a song that makes you happy: "It's Time To Party" by Andrew WK
day 04 - a song that makes you sad: "Wolves pt. 1 & 2" by Bon Iver
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone: "Midnight Radio" from Hedwig. Reminds me of Ryan Miller.
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere: "I'm Trying to Break Your Heart" by Wilco, reminds me of Union Station (Chicago)
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event: "Bombs Over Baghdad" by Outkast, take a wild guess.
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to: "Down" by 311, especially when drunk.
day 09 - a song that you can dance to: "My Favorite Accident" by Motion City Soundtrack.
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep: I used to listen to White Pony by the Deftones to get to sleep, so I'll answer with that entire album.
day 11 - a song from your favorite band: my favorite band changes quickly, but I'll go with "43% Burnt" by the Dillinger Escape Plan
day 12 - a song from a band you hate: "Big Church" by SunnO)))

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure: No one should ever feel guilty about music they like. A song that other people give me odd looks over, though, is probably "OMG" by Usher
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love: Well, shit, see above. But I guess my obsession with "Midnight Confessions" by the Grass Roots gets people sometimes.
day 15 - a song that describes you: "The Battle of Hampton Roads" by Titus Andronicus
day 16 - a song that you used to hate but now love: "New Millennium Cyanide Christ" by Meshuggah
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio: "Torn by Natalie Imbruglia. This many years later, and she's still on those "we do what we want" stations. I thought I'd never hear her again after the initial summer of that song's release.
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio: "Murmaider" by Dethklok
day 19 - a song from your favorite album: "White Walls" by Between the Buried and Me off of Colors.
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry: "I" by Meshuggah.
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy: "Sipping on the Sweet Nectar" by Jens Lekman
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad: "North by North" by Faded Paper Figures
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding: I didn't want any music played at my wedding, nothing specifically.
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral: I have a list somewhere because it's hilarious, but you'll have to consult Cameron. I'm sure "Round and Round" by RATT makes the cut.
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh: "Who's That? Brooown!" by Das Racist
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument: we all taught ourselves how to play "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" on the saxophone because it's hilarious and a convoluted in-joke.
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play: "Home" by Dream Theater.
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty: "Soup" by Blind Melon.
day 29 - a song from your childhood: "When I'm With You" by Sheriff.
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year: as for what was current last year? "A More Perfect Union" by Titus Andronicus

The surprising amount of hip-hop I've listened to in the last 24 hours

• Mos Def
• Black Star
• Talib Kweli
• MF Doom
• Cannibal Ox
• Tyler, The Creator
• Earl
• Hodgie Beats
• Chiddy Bang
• Das Racist
• Yelawolf
• Bizzy Bone

Odd Future

This is Tyler, the Creator. If dude ever grows up, he'll be the best rapper on the planet.

30 Day Book Challenge

It's a thing people are doing, and I've been doing this, I figure I should collect it all in one spot. Updates will follow, so check back if you choose to.

1. Favorite book: Disgrace by JM Coetzee
2. Least Favorite: Beloved by Toni Morrison
3. Book that made me LOL: The Bad Guys Won by Jeff Perlman
4. Book that made me cry: Charlotte's Web by EB White
5. Book you wish you could live in: Bearenstein Bears and the Bad Dream. DUDE, those action figures were the shit.
6. Favorite young adult book: The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey
7. Book that you can quote/recite: Top 10 by Alan Moore
8. Book that scares you: Let the Right One In
9. Book that makes me sick: The Strain by Guillermo del Toro
10. Book that changed my life: The Complete Short Prose of Samuel Beckett, but specifically the work, "Imagination Dead Imagine".
11. Book from your favorite author: Nohow On by Samuel Beckett.
12. Book that is most like your life: Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman. Effing read it and suffer my existence.
13. Book whose main character is most like you: Moby-Dick by Herman Melville. I'm autistic enough to chase a white whale into my own death, become trapped in it, and destroy everyone else near me to get to it. I'm just thankful it hasn't quite happened yet.
14. Book whose main character you want to marry: Feed by Mira Grant. Georgia was a super cool chick and carried a dormant zombie virus. Winner.
15. First "chapter book" you can remember reading as a child: The BFG by Roald Dahl.
16. Longest book you've read: I have no clue on this one. The Bible? Mein Kampf? War and Peace? Let the Right One In?
17. Shortest book you've read: The Vicar of Nibbleswick by Roald Dahl.
18. Book you're most embarrassed to say you like: Never be embarrassed for what you like, kids.
19. Book that turned you on: Aliens: Earth Hive. There's some hot android sex in there, and I read it when I was 13.
20. Book you've read the most number of times: Moby-Dick, y'all.
21. Favorite picture book from childhood: Richard Scarry's Peasant Pig and the Terrible Dragon.
22. Book you plan to read next: aside from the few books I'm currently in the middle of, next on the list is DEADLINE by Mira Grant (go read FEED by her if you haven't. If you haven't, you're a horrible human, or Cameron.)
23. Book you tell people you've read, but haven't: why would you lie about a book?
24. Book that contains your favorite scene: Let the Right One In by John Adjvide Lindqvist. I can't say, it'll ruin it, or at least remove some charm. And it isn't really in either film.
25. Book you read in school: I finished Mein Kampf in 2nd grade.
26. Favorite non-fiction book: Moneyball? Let's say Moneyball, the best Michael Lewis book easily, easily in my top 5 for favorite ever, and at this moment my very favorite.
27. Favorite fiction book: Moby-Dick by Herman Melville. This contradicts answer 1, but I've changed my mind in 27 days.
28. Last book I read: Drawing Heat the Hard Way by Larry Matysik. Amazing book cover to cover about the pro wrestling industry.
29. Book you're currently reading: There are 3 answers, but I'll go with the first Wheel of Time book by Robert Jordan. It's the biggest, so it will be the most relevant for the longest period of time.
30. Favorite Coffee Table Book: Sacred Mirrors, the Art of Alex Grey. There are about a billion things I enjoy about this set.

I'm pretty sure this made my week

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Night Stalker makes it to Kansas City. I freak my ish

I don't talk about beer in regards to what's happening here or even fancy reviews. The local beer ish is done best here, and the reviews are done best here. But Goose Island's Night Stalker made it to Johnson County today, and I'm pretty excited to try it. Goose Island makes my favorite beer in the world, and reflecting upon this fact has had me ranking, shuffling, and trying to come up with my favorite beers list.

Why? Because I like lists. A lot.

So after a crap load of shuffling, and before I get a chance to drink the Night Stalker, here's a list of my favorite beers, in order.

• 13: Mephistopheles by Avery. It's a stout with an alcohol content so high, I thought I only liked it because it got me drunk instantly. So I tried it a few more times, and I actually really like it a lot.
• 12: Duvel by Brouwerij Duvel. It was my first real Belgian beer, but I keep going back to it.
• 11: Espresso Oak Aged Yeti by Great Divide. I love me some coffee stouts. And I really like all Yeti varieties. I picked this one to go on the list kinda as a place holder for all of them, but also because I decided it was my favorite of the different kinds.
• 10: 471 IPA by Breckenridge. It's a 15 dollar 6 pack, but I first had it on tap at Barley's. I prefer it that way, actually, by a lot.
• 9: Pete's Brown Tribute Ale by Bear Republic. Dude who runs KC Beer Blog loves Lagunitas Brown Shugga', and this is similar in taste. Brown sugar-infused ale that I thought would be gross, but ends up tasting amazing. I like the Lagunitas all well and good, but I personally think this one whoops its ass.
• 8: Matilda by Goose Island. One, it's made in Chicago. Two, it's a Belgian-style beer. They make about a dozen different Belgians, but this one hit me right.
• 7: Old Rasputin by North Coast. I thought I liked Old Rasputin, and then I had it on tap instead of from a bottle. I guess I prefer almost all beers from tap, but this is probably the biggest disparity in tap-or-bottle differences I've experienced.
• 6: Orval Trappist Ale by Brasserie d'Orval. Beer! Made by monks! I dunno, even when I'm not concerned about my budget, I end up buying this trappist more than any other. Chimay is good, and so is Rocherfort... Hell, they're all really good. Something about Orval won me over, and if I ever have the beer words necessary to tell you why, I'll do it.
• 5: Bourbon Barrel Quad by Boulevard. People went batshit for this during its limited release, and some people broke their necks trying to get it. One day, while hanging in Olathe, dude who runs ByThePint sends out a tweet that the poorly named Brown Bag Liquors has a bunch of bottles sitting on its shelf. This was weeks into the BBQ hysteria. Being about 2 blocks from the location, I say "screw it" and pick up a couple bottles. Now I get it, and next year, I'll be one of those idiots breaking their necks trying to secure a bottle or two.
• 4: Houblon Chouffe Dobbelen IPA by Brasserie d'Achouffe. Screw these guys. My childlike ability to pick through the foreign language on the bottle told me that this was an India Pale Ale, and therefore I decided to try every IPA I could get my hand on, assuming they'd all be this good. I'm an idiot. On the bright side, I did find a lot of beers I liked, but none of them tasted like this, and pretty much none were as good.
• 3: Gnarlywine by Lagunitas. I drink this beer from a coffee mug, and I kinda recommend you do, too. It's one of the smoothest beers I've ever had, especially for its alcohol content. Beyond that, it's a lazy afternoon beer, and it is dirt cheap. I've been trying to find a good beer to drink during baseball games, and even though this only comes in bombers, they're damn near cheap enough to justify making it my go-to baseball beer this year.
• 2: Hop Rod Rye by Bear Republic. Bear Republic already make a really good IPA, but this is, obviously, rye-infused. It's one of the few beers I actually sip when I drink and take my time with.
• 1: Bourbon County Stout by Goose Island. It's made of magic and candy.